Mae's 100 Day Project

A big birthday was coming up, and I was at a loss. I decided to have a life celebration for 100 days-each day sharing a memory, thought or even a can of Cafe Bustelo.  Onward---xo "..the seemingly paradoxical art of acknowledging the past as a pathway toward the future. It gets me thinking about the other ways  we mark the crossing of thresholds: birthdays...These rites of passage allow us to migrate from one phase of our lives to another they keep us from getting lost in transit. They show us a way to honor the space between no longer and not yet." Suleika Jauoad

I believe in angels whether Celestial or Earthly. My move to a strange city as an older person was impulsive. Not that I should have stayed where I was living. My former town, although lovely, was prone to floods and was bereft of public transportation. During the freezing winters-no market was within distance or delivered. A friend and I scouted my new city for neighborhoods. What I wanted was diversity and proximity to stores and transportation. Well I got the proximity and not diversity. Anyway, a winter's move was hard and the place attached to mine was undergoing renovations for almost 2 years.  Quite frankly, I was lost, and then came the angel. Diane Venora and I got to know each other long ago when she stopped acting to take care of her daughter. During that time she taught speech classes at my school and learning center. Imagine, what a treat for the kids to have a brilliant actress as their teacher. We remained in touch, by phone and messaging. Slowly the connection slowe

"Life" The actual bookcase has. more shelves. I tried to organize. On the bottom of these shelves are some books about and by Colette-One is "Earthly Paradise" and another mostly photographs by Yvonne Mitchell. Once when I was very depressed these books helped me gain my balance-I love them- and I still love Colette- why who knows she probably was not the easiest person-but then- who is to judge- she was harmless and masterly creative-beautiful, and liked cats.

I know Brownsville, Brooklyn well. When my father's father (who I never met) somehow gained enough cash he bought a building in Brownsville. The building was inherited by my Uncle Eli and his wife Aunt Esther. I was often sent to relatives to stay on school vacations.  Eli, was a gambler and small time bookie. He was also a slob and not a very nice guy. I did go to his funeral though where most of his visitors came form Off track betting. Anyway, the family stayed in Brownsville a mostly poor immigrant community until they moved in to one of the city housings on Coney Island. So I remember Brownsville with small houses. I returned as an employee of NYU where I visited after school programs to see how they were implementing Head Start mandates. Brownsville was really changed all big uncared for buildings called "projects" all the small houses were gone. The stores had bullet proof glass windows. Streets were littered, don't know if trash came. And yet there were famili

I first read about the Urban Zen program in the New York Times. The article was about a pilot program at Beth Israel Hospital where Urban Zen Integrative Therapists were supporting medical teams on the 9the floor-primarily with Cancer patients. I knew this hospital well from visiting friends with AIDS. The article caught my attention as it stressed the program was growing and looking for the participation of Yoga teachers, psychologists, nurses, doctors and those with like experiences. The program was a comprehensive training that was founded by Donna Karan, Rodney Yee and Colleen Saidman Yee.  I was immediately drawn having practiced Yoga since high school, taken teacher trainings, volunteered in hospitals and truly loved an integrative approach to health care. I sent off the application and was excited to be accepted. The training was amazing Donna, Rodney and Colleen brought in extraordinary faculty that included Roshi Joan Halifax (Contemplative Care), Richard Freeman and Mary Tayl

The shared photo is of my mother, grandmother and cousins Bobby and Leonard. I am not sure if I ever met Bobby before he sickened and eventually passed from Leukemia at the age of 14. As far as I knew Bobby was the first of many including my Mother that met experienced Cancers.  I was so young and perplexed about why my mother was gone. We had a housekeeper-necessary since my father cut all ties with my Mothers family. When I asked when my mother was coming back she said "Never".  My brother and I ran to my neighbors house to walk to school and      my friends mother said I am so sorry and something like "you are the Cancer children". It was show and tell in Mrs Sullivan's first grade class and I had something to tell-"My mother is dead"- I don't remember a response. It was so much responsibility to be Cancer children. I wanted to be like Frances- who lived up the block and played in the dirt. I yearned to be one of the Dirty children.

I saw the big boats from atop a building during the Bicentennial-it was breathtaking. Times, from my corner of the West Village were happy. I loved my 6th floor walkup, my boyfriend, and lots of others. It seemed so gay-music was in the air...July 4, 1976 "“A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largesse from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits from the public treasury with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship. The average age of the world’s greatest civilizations has been 200 years.” Alexis de Tocqueville (1805-59)

Even though, I am a little exhausted- I am blessed. Lives are roads, unexpected happens, and if able we keep traveling. This year and for next my schedule preparing students for college and graduate school is booked ( I tweak room). This past weekend- solid- and to me each person is a precious gem- some more easily to awaken than others.  A truly special experience was an applicant read over his application with a parent who suffered a life-changing injury. The college essay describe how the life of the student was forever changed. The piece is beautiful.. and at the end of the reading- the parent said " I love you...".  Its 5:09 AM--I am up a tad worse for wear-ready for another day-and another bundle of preciousness-this one with abundant humor is on my schedule.

Perfection-my short stay at Green Gulch Farm Zen Center. I was so lucky because I did not reserve a room. Someone must have canceled-and I found myself in a most perfect place. Green Gulch is in Marin County close to my beloved San Francisco. I was coming from visiting friends up north and on my way to visit my brother in Silver Lake. What perfection, the room, walks to John Muir beach, meals, and quiet times.  I loved working in the kitchen and garden. Popsicle sticks were hung from trees with names of the many gone from AIDS.  Some years later, i signed up to hike from Big Sur to Tassajara Mountain Center. I had all the equipment necessary for the hike, and one of the other hikers was kind enough to drive me to the starting point in Big Sur. Unfortunately, I proved to be a horrible hiker and hated sleeping in tents. What was I thinking because I went to the gym, worked out with weights, and was great with indoor cycling that I could backpack. And the trail was not cleared from rains-

Monte Cuevas, owned the building at 220 Court Street. He had been the super and raised his children there. Mr. Cuevas, was my landlord for about 15 years. Court Street, was a neighborhood when I rented in 1984 not expensive as today. My initial rent was $500 a month and eventually got to $900. The reason was that Mr. Cuevas, respected that I and later we worked with children. This special place was where I orchestrated a learning center and later an alternative school as well. As a business person, I ran things as I knew improvising. Everyone was paid- and when cash was low not me. Steady employees, had insurance and stayed to tutor. I did not get rich although many came to me with plans. During this time, I raised my daughter who never wanted for lessons, healthcare and enrichment.  I think faith and happiness was the key. I absolutely loved going to work, meeting the kids, and supporting them. The learning center was kind of run like a meeting house. Referrals came from many schools,